Sorry if my english is so bad, I ‘m french and stupid.
If I am a cutter, it’s because i’m invisible. I’m boarder, so the weekend when I come back home, I would like to tell what happened the week at school… But, every single time, at dinner, when I want to say something, nobody listen to me. My little sister’s always talking, and I can’t say a word. And, then, when I want to listen some music or speak with my girlfriend on Skype, I can’t. My parents yell at me, and worse than that, yell at each other.
So, yes, I’m a girl, and I’ve a girlfriend. It’s very hard at school, because peoples in my class don’t understand me and when she’s not here i’m alone… One more reason.
I was always invisible, but in secondary school, I used to thought it was normal for me to be alone. It was normal to be hitting by the others. But I nevertheless couldn’t bear it, so I starting to cut my self.
In high school, now, it’s more and more hard. I thought that peoples will be different, about me, and generally, but they weren’t. Always stupid. Always hurtful. My grades starting to drop, and my family started to have no interest on me. Less than usually.
There was this story, about my girlfriend and me -before, when she wasn’t- Everybody used to say that we sleep together, and more… That really broken me.
But, one day, the nurse call me to her nursery and asked me about my arm. I wouldn’t tell her. She is as stupid as the others. But in the waiting room, I read a text about the Butterfly Project. So I’ve drawn one on my arm. And two, and three, always with the same name. They helped me, so I drawn one on my girlfriends arm, before she was my girlfriend. And after. Everytime. And one on a friends arm, because she’s a cutter too.
Butterflies really helped me, so I wanted to share my story.